The Chairman's Daughter's 'Cup of Hotness' List
So, my sister HyeSu was fangirling the other day and came across a YouTube video of the ‘Top 15 sexiest Korean Idols’. That spurned a conversation about who we might choose for OUR Top Sexiest List. Since we started a new book called ‘Cup of Hotness Café’, we thought maybe our readers would be interested in finding out what OUR TOP 10 ‘Cup of Hotness’ list looks like, including the ORIGINAL, ‘Cup of Hotness’ Lim Hyunsik from BTOB.
HyeSu: So SooMin what do you consider sexy?
SooMin: LEGS! Lean, muscular legs. Ooops, that’s a body part. Sorry, you didn’t ask me that yet did you? Okay. Wellll . . . hmmm . . . the ‘LOOK. The eyes that say, “Come here baby, you and me . . . closet. Close the door.” And you?
HyeSu: Really? You stole my line. It’s the eyes. The way they look at a person. But, also the smile. Geez. Why do I bother to ask you anything? Should’ve just answered the question myself first. I probably don’t need to ask you what body part is your favorite huh? If it’s really the legs, you’re eyebrow is going to shoot through the roof.
SooMin: Let’s get real. We’re both about to tell the biggest freaking lie on the plant. So, how about we just say it in unison and get it over with!
HyeSu and SooMin in Unison: PACKAGE and ASS! Ding, ding, ding, ding . . . winner winner chicken dinner!!
SooMin: Ohhhh darnnnn . . . that means no more talking about body parts. (Sigh)
HyeSu: The criteria for picking our sexiest Idols is not all about body parts . . .
SooMin: Then what? Most fangirls look at the body first.
HyeSu: You should know, how many boyfriends do you have? Like IDK a dozen???? There’s more to sex appeal than just the body.
SooMin: Noooo . . . only threeeee . . . And they’re all different. So I guess you’re right. Because . . . at least two of them have no body to speak of. I.e. Key and MinHo, unlike your (how many?) Threeeee????? Who ALL have bodies . . . So I guess I win the question about sex-appeal not being all about the body. You have to stop the questioning now. Get to the list.
HyeSu: As usual, you have to have the last word, SooMin.
SooMin: Of course I do. But trust me this WON’T be my last word. And honestly, I can’t believe you didn’t take the opportunity to diss my Oppa MinHo and his ‘lack’ of physical prowess. Because he has more sex appeal in his left dimple than all of your idols put together. BAM! Pregnant!
HyeSu: Here come my ‘seven’ words . . . Get ready. Wait for it . . . Are you ready yet? Who said he’s going to make the list? BAM! OUT THERE!
SooMin: Ooooo, shot to the heart . . . I’m sorry Opppaaaaa . . . I tried to defend you. I’ll put you on as a P.S. (Honorable Mention). Now, I’m pissed. I think I’m gonna make up my own list.
HyeSu: That’s probably a good idea, cause you’re list and my list are gonna be totally opposite. Don’t you call your ‘husband’ Key . . . Cup of Hotness???? Ahhhh, NO! NO! The list does not start with Key. Well, your list can start with Key. And he’s #10 right? You did hear me right? SooMin pay attention!
SooMin: I don’t wanna do this anymore. If Key gets wind of this, and finds out he’s #10 and MinHo got Honorable Mention, and JJ is #1, I’m in trouble!
HyeSu: Unlike you sister, I’m loyal to my husband, and he’s #1 on the Hotness list.
SooMin: Hmmm, I think I have Hyun Joongs number here somewhere. Maybe I should give him a call. He might have a different story. Would you like to change that statement?
HyeSu: No, but if I’m in trouble you’re in trouble.
SooMin: I’m always freaking in trouble. Should we Kai-Bi-Bo to see who sleeps on the couch?
HyeSu: My house . . . my couch . . .
SooMin: So that means I’m screwed. Oh wait . . . I think I like that! Maybe I SHOULD do a list . . .
HyeSu: We’re doing a Cup of Hotness List not a “who do you want to sleep with list.”
SooMin: Aren’t they the same?
HyeSu: STOP! Let’s get back on track. The freight train needs to stop at the next station and you need to get off, ‘cause I got a HOT husband waiting at home for me. We need to get to the list.
SooMin: To save our relationship I won’t respond to that. Okay . . . Who’s #10 on the list? We can TRY to do one together. See how it turns out. You give me your picks and I’ll give you mine and we’ll collaborate.
HyeSu: Here’s my List:
1. Choi Minho SHINee
2. Yook Sungjae BTOB
3. Kim Hyun Joong SS501
4. Lee Taemin SHINee
5. Kim JaeJoong JYJ
6. Lee Donghae Super Junior
7. Cha ‘Leo’ VIXX
8. Park Jimin BangTan Boys BTS
9. Hwang Changsung 2PM
10. Jung JongKook BangTan Boys BTS
11. Honorable Mention: Yoohoo of Beatwin (Smile Eyes)
SooMin: There will not be any collaboration . . . You have chosen a list full of babies . . . Babies are not sexy, I’m sorry. And . . . there is only one real daddy. That would be Minho. Not sure where Hyun Joong fits into the picture or even Changsung and JJ. But, after all it’s your list. Now defend yourself.
HyeSu: Legal . . . they're all legal and in their prime. That’s right, it’s MY list. And it’s not how old they are, it’s what MAKES them sexy. And I think they’re born with it. Sooo, example . . . Nick Jonas. I saw a picture of him when he was 12 or 13. And I said he’s gonna be the one everyone will be after. Was I right? Of course I was. I rest my case. Besides that . . . I like the Maknaes. We’ll talk about Maknaes some other time!
SooMin: Oh yeahhh . . . the LIST:
1. Kim JaeJoong JYJ
2. Kim Kibum (Key) SHINee
3. Lee MinHo Solo Artist
4. Bi Rain Solo Artist
5. Kim JunSu JYJ
6. Oh Taeceyon 2PM
7. JunK 2PM
8. Jang WooYoung 2PM
9. Cha ‘Leo’ VIXX
10. ‘N’ VIXX
11. Honorable Mention: Onew (SHINee)
HyeSu: In the first place . . . how come your ‘husband’ is in second place? Considering you call him Hotness Husband. What was that I heard, silence? NO ANSWER . . . In the second place, are you talking about Junsu or JunK cause Junsu is with JYJ and JunK is with 2PM, oh BIG DIFFERENCE . . . Again, NO ANSWER . . . Sister are you really a KPOP fan? Are you qualified to be making this list? NO ANSWER . . . Okay, I guess I’m doing this blog by myself.
SooMin: YAH! Wait a minute. I’m getting a phone call from Key. OH SHIT! I gotta go, you’re on your own. Bye.
HyeSu: Noooo, I don’t think so. Get your skinny ass back here. Tell him you’re busy making a list. I just got a text from my husband too, he said he’s got a special present waiting for me when I get home. My own personal GIF.
SooMin: Does it include Sungjae and Hyun Joong?
HyeSu: If I’m lucky. But seriously, what prompted your first top three on the list?
SooMin: (Talking to Key) “Hold on a minute baby . . . I gotta tell HyeSu something first . . . ‘Tongue, you know which one that is’. “Okay, I really gotta go husband. This doesn’t concern you. Mianhae.” So, sister . . . ahhh, first on the list . . . JJ, Tongue. Second . . . Key, Dimples, Third . . . MinHo, Wet. As you can see, they are NOT all physical attributes. Can I go now? He’s waiting.
SooMin: That’s just cruel.
HyeSu: Okay go then. The readers will never know the importance of sex appeal, outside of how they look, and how big their muscles are. All the muscles . . . Whatever, did you even understand what that meant. I’m not as good at words, so I’ll just ‘show’ you what I think is sexy about my top three.
Minho Eyes . . .
JaeJoong Tongue . . .